Dixon: how to get a date
A dear friend of mine asked me why she doesn’t get asked out on dates. I got her background story and found a few reasons she wasn’t getting asked out. Her reasons are nothing to be embarrassed about. Her situation isn’t unique. Women who do not get asked on dates almost always have the same problems that are a deterrent to guys. I will explain the most common problems and their solutions. It really isn’t hard to get asked on dates. I will make it easy so you don’t have to be.
The biggest hindrance is being the biggest woman. A female that is too tall can be a huge problem. Height is attractive, but intimidating. Guys keep their distance in order to maintain the little stature they claim. If you are tall, how do you get asked on dates? I suggest bringing it down a level. There are two ways I know of:
The first is to slouch around. When you walk, never straighten your knees. If at all possible, walk with your knees at a 90-degree angle. Bend your back with your shoulders close to your knees. Never look up; always know if your feet are still there. This has the potential to cut your height in half and double your chances of winning his heart. Your new posture will be irresistible to the hungry guys out there.
The second way to shorten your problem is to play the injured card. Find a wheelchair and a cast/knee brace for your leg. Not only have you dropped undesired height, you have added sympathy by lying. Guys will pretend to feel so bad for you that they will almost always ask you to get dinner with them.
If you are not tall, then my next guess as to why you haven’t been getting dates is your talents. Guys don’t like to feel short and they sure don’t like to feel weak compared to the female they are around. Intimidation is the single biggest deal breaker. It is fine for you to have talents. It is fine to be an overachiever. These things are fine if you can keep them a secret. If you want a date, hide your talents under a bushel basket. If you can play the piano or sing, be sure to not let men know about it. If you are smart, always dumb down around the hottest guys. If you are athletic, trip and fall all the time. Guys will see how pathetic you appear. Since men are so obsessed with being better than other people they will not be worried about you showing them up. You will be a pathetic moron and get a date every time.
Another thing that prevents dates is your friends. Just like before, intimidation is a killer. It is the worst to hunt for one person when they have an army around them. The embarrassment of being turned down is exponentially worse with every witness. Choose to hang around with fewer people. In fact, if you fly it alone, you will be an easy target. However, if you do choose friends to hang around with you; never have more than two with you at any given time. In addition, this hurts me to say, but if you aren’t the prettiest of your friends, you can expect zero dates. It is crucial that you look a little better than the friends around you. A rose is more beautiful when it has dandelions around it. A dandelion looks better when it has a garbage dump behind it. Just play it up a step and downgrade your friends for ugly ones.
These last few tips will most likely address at least one flaw in your dating struggles. If you have high standards when it comes to getting a date, lower them. If you like good looking guys, stop. If you want a successful man to come along, forget about it. If your parents don’t like the guys that like you, get new parents. If you are a girl who likes other girls, don’t worry about how to get guys to ask you out. If you smell bad, you’re doomed. If you don’t like the date the guy has in mind, deal with it. If you are ugly, try not to be. If you have man hands, I am terribly sorry but there is no cure. If you don’t like my tips than that is fine, but if you don’t follow them, you won’t get another date until the end of forever. You don’t have to like my tips, but you do have to follow them.
The last bit of advice is to never give up. Timing is everything. Rejection is a part of life. It is good to be optimistic but never forget the importance of realism. One must learn to adapt. Always remember, love will come softly when dates hardly come.